“i had three signs and i ignored them all“. That was my mother, explaining to my siblings and i despite how young and narrow-minded we were, about how she got into the “situationship” she was currently in, her marriage.
i had no idea really of what was going on, in fact i was quite lost. she was in tears, i recall she kept saying “i don’t know what i have ever done to your father that he treats me this way“. As the years went on, watching my dad, the decisions he made, i started to understand a bit of what my mother had been saying.
it was an arranged marriage of course as was the norm in 80’s, my mother, the first child of her family was ecstatic to be getting married. 17 years old at the time, she had little idea that she was being plunged into an eternal abyss of sorrow, her world was about to crumble. as i recall, mother said to me
“ your father gave me a flower-pot, a lovely diamond bracelet and the engagement ring, and before the marriage i had lost the engagement ring and simply couldn’t remember where i had left it, the diamond bracelet was stolen and the flower pot broke unexpectedly, i never saw any of these as signs to back out, rather i thought my self careless“.
the traditional marriage took place, a buzz with people, laughter and joy, both families came together to celebrate this new bride and groom. my mother had a counselor at the time, a roman catholic priest, father Donald. he expressed his joy for my mother but asked that she abstain from sex outside her church wedding as was part of the catholic faith, she agreed but disobeyed. at the time of the church wedding, three years after the advice that was given, my mother was 7 months pregnant with my brother, she said.
“problems had already arisen in the marriage but what could i do, my parents asked me to endure as that was what any respectable wife would do, endure and keep going, things would get better and so i did. on the night of our wedding, while i went into the kitchen to get a slice of cake for my parents, big as i was with a baby in me, your father slapped me, with this fury in his eyes, his reason for doing that? none at all, he tried to deceive me by asking why i would cut the cake, but really who was he fooling? if a cake wasn’t to be cut and then eaten, what was it for? . i could not but cry, my parents who were in the adjacent room heard my cry and acted as if nothing had happened, when i came out with tears in my eyes, my father saw me and acted as if nothing had happened you could see the sadness in his eyes, i was my fathers rose and on that day he saw me cry due to your fathers actions, he saw a petal from his beloved rose fall. As much as they wanted to help me and scold your father dearly, they were confounded by customs and traditions, confines which caused them sorrow all their days and ultimately took their lives long before time”
this has been my life since my birth, my mother has cried more times than she has ever laughed in her lifetime, because of my father. if i were to count how many times i have seen my mother sad or in tears, i would be on the verge of inventing a new number .do you agree that a happy wife means a happy home? if you do then you know by contrast that an unhappy wife is an unhappy home. So because of the constant sorrow which is the air we breathe in my family, i have become fed up and ready to share my life with the world, let the world read what my life has been since my birth. follow me as i will publish a timeline of events as they have happened in my family and then tell me what you think.